Sept 12, 2021
Today I cried. I woke up feeling tired and exhausted. I could already tell my body felt off and sluggish. Then being on social media, somethings triggered a deep inner wound.
That wound is one that I’ve been exploring deeply through my healing journey. It’s one that has stayed with me from childhood and tells me that I’m not valuable. I’m not as worthy or wanted as others. That I am an inconvenience to others and no one really likes me. They just tolerate me. I’m no one’s first choice.
And it’s been backed up by evidence that I’ve been building since I was probably 3 or 4. When I first felt jealous that my mom gave another kid more attention. Or when I felt rejection for the first time by my friends in elementary school for no good reason. When my younger brother was born and he was instantly cute and adorable. Add another 30+ years of life and that’s been the filter I’ve lived life by.
But as I’ve been doing inner work, I’ve learned so much about myself. I’ve learned to really listen to my mind, body, and soul. I’ve learned to connect with my inner child and provide her the safety and reassurance she’s looking for whenever she feels threatened. I’ve been building out my toolkit to help ground and center me when I start to spiral or feel triggered. I know what my truths are. I know what truly matters to me at the end of the day.
Today I cried. And then I told myself, you are treasured.
And I felt better.
p.s. It’s ok to have hard days.